Josh Broward
Today we run the risk of misunderstanding each other. I want to begin by reading part of the statements on human sexuality in The Manual of the Church of the Nazarene and by our Board of General Superintendents:
The Church of the Nazarene views human sexuality as one expression of the holiness and beauty that God the Creator intended for His creation. It is one of the ways by which the covenant between a husband and a wife is sealed and expressed.[1]
The Church of the Nazarene believes that every man or woman should be treated with dignity, grace, and holy love, whatever their sexual orientation. However ... We stand firmly on the belief that the biblical concept of marriage, always between one man and one woman in a committed, lifelong relationship, is the only relationship within which the gift of sexual intimacy is properly expressed.[2]
This month we are trying to understand our sexuality in all its God-given beauty. Today, we are continuing to teach the holy love for God and for people which the Church of the Nazarene has always upheld. I just want to make that clear at the beginning.
I have been preparing for this sermon for more than a year. Throughout this process of reading and studying and praying, I have also thought about my friends and family members who are gay.
Sarah’s uncle is gay and lives with his partner in a long-term, loving relationship. We have stayed in their home more than once, and they showed our family great kindness and hospitality.
My cousin is gay. Her “wife” experienced severe and sustained sexual abuse by men. Now, as an adult, she is physically unable to eat foods that remind her of sex with men. Pickles, hotdogs, and mayonnaise all make her vomit!
Throughout this year, I have been talking with “JiHye.” She dated guys most of her life, but while at our church, she “came out of the closet” as a gay woman and began dating other women. She finally felt so uncomfortable in our church that she stopped attending. When I asked JiHye what I should say today, she said that I should put a human face on homosexuality.
To help us think about real people, I want to stop and hear a story from “Michelle.” Michelle no longer attends our church, but she sent us a letter telling us her story.
--- Michelle’s Story ---
After becoming a Christian at the age of 20, I had a strong desire to live for God with all my heart. God led me to Cheonan and to
A few years ago, I met a woman with whom I could talk freely about our dreams and our passion for God. We became best friends. Gradually, I found out I had very strong feelings toward her, but I wasn't thinking that I might be gay. To be honest, I didn’t agree with homosexuality since my background told me it is a sin. However, I realized that my feelings for her were becoming even stronger than before, stronger than the feelings that I have had toward any of my ex-boyfriends.
But I also found that deep in my heart there were some worries and guilt. It was kind of like you know you are having a baby, but, at the same time, you find out that the baby has no way to be born.
We tried to cut off the relationship. I tried to hang out with men. I tried to date them. However, the more men I dated, the stronger my feelings for her became. I realized that I could never love a man like I love her. But I thought, “At least, I can be single for God.”
Then, I tried something new. Up to this point, I always asked God for His grace and forgiveness about my feelings toward her. But, now, I asked God to show me the truth about this issue. I began to ask myself and God: “Is homosexual practice really a sin, or is this just a human rule?”
When I put away all my opinions which were formed by society and my background, and searched the truth for myself, I began to change my mind. It seems to me that adultery is not simply about physical sexual actions. It's about loyalty and relationship. If we love someone with genuine and sincere heart, we will be faithful and loyal to that person.
I feel that the one thing I can do is to love. I know I will never fully understand what is truth or not until I stand before Him. So I only can pray to Him for right guidance. And I feel like God isn't saying I'm on the wrong track. On the contrary, it seems like God has confirmed this path through little bits of evidence, which come slowly one by one.
After identifying myself as a lesbian, I found that it feels right inside me. I have known this woman for three years, and we see each other as our life partners. I feel so lucky that there is someone who can dream for God with me, love and share about God together, and keep company with me in this wonderful world. Because of her love for me, I am starting to love and to appreciate myself more fully. That helps me love God more.
In the past, I was one who was strongly against homosexuality, but now, it seems like God is making me see things in a new way. Now, I understand what it means to be an outsider, and I, myself, will always love and accept outsiders with the love of God, not judge them by my limited knowledge.
I’m not saying that I agree with Michelle’s conclusions, but I think it is helpful for us to hear her story. This is someone from our own church who has wrestled with her own sexual orientation.
Before we go any further, I want you to stop and think about someone you know who is gay. It may be a friend or a family member or a coworker or some famous person who is gay. Get somebody’s face in your mind right now. Today we aren’t just talking about homosexuality – a hot topic issue, which starts fights and divides churches. We are talking about that person – your friend, my cousin, people in our church.
My goal today is not to say something about homosexuality. I don’t want to tell you what I believe or what the Bible “says.” If I do that, you will probably agree or disagree with me and then stop thinking.
My goal today is to start a conversation – or to restart a conversation about homosexuality and the Bible and Christianity. In Western culture, our conversation has collapsed into a shouting match. In Korean culture, there isn’t really a conversation about homosexuality. People just pretend it doesn’t exist. Today is a day to change that.
But we need a new framework for our conversation. We need to be able to listen and really hear people’s hearts. We need to be able to talk without shouting. Today I want to suggest some basic ideas about how to have a genuinely Christian conversation about homosexuality.
First, God does NOT hate homosexuals. On behalf of lovers of Jesus everywhere, and on behalf of God, I want to apologize for the way some church people shout hate-filled messages condemning gay people. I am sorry. That is not what the Bible teaches. God loves everyone everywhere always!
Second, we need to be careful with our vocabulary. The highest leaders of the Church of the Nazarene explain it like this:
The Bible says nothing about homosexuality as the term is often used today. Homosexuality is often used today to describe a person’s sexual orientation. The Bible does not address homosexual orientation. What the Bible does talk about are homosexual acts. … Sexual orientation is not usually a willful choice. …It is amoral, neither moral nor immoral. Sexual behavior is a moral choice.[3]
We need to be very careful about the words we use. When we talk about what the Bible says, we need to talk about homosexual practice not homosexuality.
Why is this important? Many gay people connect their sexual orientation with their identity. If we say, “Homosexuality is wrong,” for a gay person, that sounds like or feels like we are saying, “Who you are as a person is fundamentally wrong or evil.” Some gay Christians decide that the most faithful thing they can do is to stay single and celibate. They give up sex and marriage forever because of their deep faithfulness to the Bible. It is terribly unjust and illogical for us to say that they are wrong or evil.
Third, we need to understand a little sociology. Way back in the 1950s, a scientist named Alfred Kinsey concluded that it is too simplistic to think only in terms of heterosexuals and homosexuals. Instead, he suggests 8 different categories: [4]
People tend to identify as gay or straight, but they may have feelings or experiences going the other way.
Experts say it is very difficult to gather accurate data on how many people are gay or bisexual. As far as I can tell, about 5-10% of the global population is predominately homosexual. Sometimes, people say, “There are no gay people in
Maybe we should stop for a minute and read a story about another time when the Church dealt with a hotly debated topic. Let’s read Acts 15:1-22.
So let’s compare a little. Then, in about 50 A.D., there were only 20-50,000 Christians in the whole world. There was a central, unified leadership structure in
But now, we have 2 billion Christians scattered all over the world. We have thousands of denominations and leadership structures. On the hotly debated issue of slavery, it took well over 100 years for Christians to reach a unified consensus. On the issues surrounding women’s liberty, Christians have been arguing for more than 100 years, and we are just now beginning to reach consensus. But, as some people here will tell you, that debate isn’t over.
In many ways, the global Church is in a similar debate about homosexuality. This debate cannot be settled by one group of Christians in one culture. The discussion must involve all of us, and that takes time. This discussion is probably only 30-40 years old, so we will probably be talking about this for a long, long time.
So then, the natural question is: How do we have good discussion in the Church?
First and foremost, we need HUMILITY. Brian McClaren was asked, “How should Christians … address the issue of homosexuality?” He said: “First, before we say or do anything, we should pray for wisdom … There's a big difference between being right and being wise… When the issue of homosexuality comes up, people quickly say, "What about Romans 1? What about Leviticus? What about 1 Corinthians 6?" I want to say, "Well, what about 1 Corinthians 13? What about James 3?”[6]
OK. So, let’s read 1 Corinthians 13 (verses 1-7) and Jame3 (verses 13-18).
Throughout this discussion, we need to be deeply loving, which means being patient, kind, polite, and hopeful. Throughout this discussion about homosexuality, God calls us to be deeply wise, which means being humble, helpful, gentle, peace-making, merciful, and sincere. If we lose this basic stance of humble love and humble wisdom, we have gone astray.
Secondly, we need: COMPASSION. We need to remember that we are talking about real people. We need to remember the struggle that these real people experience. Most gay people don’t choose to be gay. Most gay people would rather be heterosexual like the majority of people. Most people only acknowledge their inner homosexuality after a painful struggle and years of denial. We need to be very careful about the stones that we throw.
Third, we need COMMITMENT TO TRUTH. William Coffin makes a painful realization: “Most, if not all of us, tend to hold certainty dearer than truth. … Uncertainty is one of the heart’s greatest fears. So fearful, in fact, is uncertainty that many insecure people engage in what psychiatrists call ‘premature closure.’”[7] We need to care so much about truth that we avoid “premature closure.” We need to consider the possibility of rethinking a few things.
But this discussion is still not a free-for-all, at least not for Christians. As Christians we are deeply committed to finding truth in the Bible. The Bible is our ultimate guide for faith and practice.
However, that doesn’t make the search for truth simple. We can’t just lift a sentence out of the Bible and say, “God said it. I believe it. That settles it.” The Bible says some pretty wild things sometimes. The Bible says God told
Now, I’m not trying to make fun of the Bible. All I’m saying is that it can be difficult to understand what this book means to us thousands of years later. It simply won’t do to be simplistic. We need to acknowledge the complexity of the Bible even as we dig deeply into the Bible in our pursuit of truth.
When we actually start studying the Bible, we will find out surprisingly that homosexual practice is not a major theme of the Bible. In terms of total content, the Bible is much more concerned with other ethical themes like justice, sharing with the poor, being a supportive community, and honesty.
In fact, there are only five texts that directly address homosexual practice. The Bible specifically prohibits homosexual practice in four places: Leviticus
But the most powerful text against homosexual practice is in Romans. Let’s read Romans 1:18-32.
“Conservatives” read this passage and say, “See, homosexual practice is always wrong because it is against nature.” “Liberals” usually say two things: “First, what if someone is born with gay DNA? Then, being gay would be with their nature not against it. Second, what if homosexual practice is in the same category as slavery and male domination of women? What if we need to reinterpret the Bible on gay marriage as well?” And conservatives and liberals start arguing back and forth, back and forth, and they start shouting and getting angry and calling names and sending each other to hell.
We get stuck in Romans 1, but we really need to keep reading to Romans 2: “You may think that you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself. For you who judge others do these very same things” (2:1-2). And then, we need to go on to chapter 3, “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard” (
We tend to enter this debate from the “moral high ground,” feeling like we are better than the people who disagree with us. We feel like we have the right to judge other people as sinner or hypocrites. But we don’t. We are in the midst of this discussion about homosexuality and Christianity, and we are all standing in the same place. We are all sinners whom God loves.
Nazarenes around the world have been asking a lot of questions about homosexuality. Last year, the Board of General Superintendents issued a small pamphlet talking about how we as a church should deal with this issue. At the end of the booklet, they answered the question: “How do we show God’s grace to homosexuals …?” Their answers paint a beautiful picture of where God is calling us as the Church of Jesus Christ.
1) Love unconditionally. … God does not love someone any less simply because he or she is a homosexual. It is hypocritical for us to do so.
2) Be Available to Come Alongside In the Complexity of the Journey. Resist the ever-present temptation to make this a simple matter.
3) Teach the Truth and Communicate Hope. … The people of God may well be the only place left in the world where homosexuals can be loved and hear the truth of God.
4) Provide a Grace Community of Hospitality and Formation. … If the homosexual community offers a better welcome than the people of God, a struggling person will seek help from that community. If we, as the church, immediately condemn our homosexual brothers and sisters without taking the time to get to know them and to share God’s love with them, we may turn them off from the church and from God for good. Homosexuals need the church, and they matter to us because they matter to God.
If the church wants to get serious about helping the homosexual seeking to be a Christlike disciple, we must think in terms of consistent, rich hospitality. … We cannot expect a person to “go deal with this and come back when you have it settled.” One of our best means of grace is the hospitality and character formation in the fellowship of the church. God grant our church grace to be such a community.[8]
It is my hope that this discussion today will be one more step toward helping us be a community of grace. My great prayer is that we will be a loving community where all people are welcomed, where all people experience God’s transforming grace, where all people become more like Jesus, where all people can participate in God’s great mission of changing our world. God grant our church grace to be such a community.
[1] The Manual, “Human Sexuality: 37.”
[2] Board of General Superintendents, Church of the Nazarene, “A Pastoral Perspective on Homosexuality,” 2008, http://www.nazarene.org/files/docs/Perspectives_Homosexuality.pdf.
[3] Ibid.
[4] “Kinsey Reports” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_Reports, downloaded 11.12.2009.
[5] http://academic.naver.com.doc_id=6518310
[6] “7 Burning Issues: Gay Rights,” Relevant Magazine, May/June 2008, downloaded 8.11.2009. http://www.relevantmagazine.com/features-reviews/god/1457-7-burning-issues-gay-rights.
[7] William Sloane Coffin, “
[8] “Pastoral Perspectives on Homosexuality,” Ibid.
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